DER FUHRER MINT
by Thatwouldbesuper
Summary: IT'S TASTELESS. IT'S HORRIBLE. IT'S DISTURBING. IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP. IT'S COMING TO A COMPUTER NEAR YOU! I wrote this when i was supposed to be sleeping. Warning to the ealiy offended. Its Rated M for MAJOR CRAP. Read at your own risk.


**Mint PWNZ0xeres EVERYBODY  
**_AN: This is probably the shittiest thing you'll read all die. Don't take it seriously, just read it and pretend to be tasteless. Its funnier that way._

One day, while sitting in OTHERworld History, Mint was learning about World War II.

You really mean to tell me that this little weirdo with a strange mustache pwnz0xerd Eastern Europe and Parts of Russian? Mint asked very loudly at random to her teacher.

Her teacher, who will go unnamed for now, replied, Indeedy doody, your Highness.And his main inspiration for the people was a crappy book?Hella yeah.I gotta try this, Mint said, with EVIL plans of world domination.

She escaped from school early.

Maya was home sick with a mild cold and was totally making up a bunch of bullshit about being ill to get out of school. She asked Mint, What the fuck are you doing home so early? Mint yelled and flamethrower'd Maya. Lucky for the younger sister, she had been put under a protective shield by her nursemaid (who was an extremely attractive indiviual named David) and was not harmed in the least.

Maya said with a bemused expression on her face, are you trying to imitate another evil OTHERworld leader again?Well, don't, because it never works.Obviously, you don't have any idea of what kind of great skills I have. You saw how friggin awesome I euthenasia'd you.You fucking moron, you missed me by like six feet.MORE LIKE 5.8789780932590298509 FEET! Mint screamed before running away like a wounded puppy.

Quickly, Mint got out a crayon and some paper.

MY STUGGLE

She quickly got on and got a really angsty story about her and printed it out. Without further adiu, shs stapelled the whole thing together, and sent it to a major publishing company. At first they refused it, but she paid them big bucks.

Holy shit, said the editor. I coud use that... I could use that for HOOKERS.

His assistant nudged him, Your revealing your diabolical hooker scandals again.

His wife made a face.

Well, on other notes, Mint got her book published. I was all over the Threads of Fate world's Barnes and Nobles and Borderses and WalMarts.

Mint was all: EAST HEAVEN, FUCK YEAH! With a musical note.

She decided to make Rue leader of defense or BURN him. Claire encouraged it, because Claire is a FUCKING MORON. And Rue does whatever the hell Claire wants. If Claire was all, Lick me in places you normally don't! he would be all, OK, whatever you say. Thanks again for making me this hat, it TOTALLY doesn't make me look like a weirdo. and she'd be all, STFU AND LICK!

Yeah.

So, Mint was all in her supersexay leather outfit with a little image of the duel halos on her armband. Rue was wearing a leather outfit too.

ITS CHAFFING! he screamed.

Shut up, you little freak. Or I'll BURN you, Mint scowled EVILLY.

Rue whimpered because he was intimadated by her. I bet she's got a bigger cock than me, too, he thought. because he, like Claire, IS A FUCKING MORON.

Mint said, Dodododo, I feel reeeeeeal ebil today, so I think I'll watch CABARET (1972) AND SIDE WITH THE NAZIS WHO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF BRIAN.

AND NO ONE BUT THE AUTHOR AND HER DAD GOT THAT JOKE. And she laughed, oh how she laughed.

And back home, Claire was all, Oh, I miss being licked on the eyebrows.

THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIRTY MINDED PERVERTS! I BET YOU WERE THINKING ALL KINDS OF NASTY THINGS!

Yes, onward... After a few moments of pondering, Mint decided to BLOW EVERYTHING UP. Soon all of what was left of East HEaven was all like, SIEG HEIL! (Which I more than likely spelt wrong) So she was like, HOLY SHIT MONKEYS! I've gotta try this more often!

And so, Mint went on, conquesting the world. Just when she thought she had everything done and she pwnzd everybody, she was sitting sipping thick, red, wine that may or may not have been blood, and MAYA came.

She stabbed Mint is the mouth! It didn't make a whole lotta sense, but Mint died, and that was that.

Alls Maya had to say was, I tell ya, to much smoking, boozing and screwing around will get ya everytime. and then she giggled and walked away. Suffice it to say, Maya had gone insane, and that line was taken from All That Jazz (1979) and that Movie is really good too.  
AN: this was by far the WORST thing I've ever written-- its full of swear words, gratutious violence and Nazis. I hate goddamn Nazis. But I had to write it because the concept was stuck in my head, and I'm going on vacation tomarrow, so, I had too write it, crappy as it was. Maybe I'll redo it so that it has less refernce to Bob Fosse choreographed thingers. If i ever do, you'll know.


End file.
